Just Be Cool. Look Normal.

*** Seriously. Don’t look. Act natural. This is a totally normal moment. Nothing weird going on at all. I’m just a querying author writing a little blog post on my author website. You’re just a regular reader that wanted to pop by and take a look at my site. We will NOT pay any attention to the fact that some literary agents may be watching us RIGHT NOW. ***

Why, HELLO dear reader! I am so glad you stopped by. I appreciate you and am thrilled that you’ve read my books.

Why, yes! I DO have another book done. It’s the first in a new series. Yep, still paranormal comedy. Yeah, me, too. I just can’t get enough of sticking monsters in with the regular folks in the Midwest.

When can you read it? Well, it depends, really. First, I’d like a literary agent. Once I’ve found an agent to work with, we’ll start looking for a publisher.

It is a lot of work, yes, and you’re right, it will take some time. Ah, true! Good things do come to those who wait. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Nothing worth having is easy.

Oh, you’re too kind. I hope you’re right and a great agent loves it. In the meantime, dear reader, keep an eye on this site, or follow me on Twitter. When I land an agent and a book deal, I want YOU to be the first to know.

You, too, dear reader! Have a wonderful day and we’ll see you soon!

*** Nice! You were so natural! The check’s in the mail. ***

Spring has Sprung!

Uff da. What a winter. Up here in Minnesota, we’re used to it. Doesn’t mean we have to like it, though. Sure, December and January weren’t too bad this time around. But February?

Uff da.

Suffice it to say that I’m damned excited to be solidly into meteorological spring. Longer days with amazing sunrises and lingering sunsets. Buds popping up on all the trees. Birds and squirrels and chipmunks and rabbits getting all crazy and making babies like an X-rated Disney movie. And beer! There is nothing I like more than sitting on a brewery patio and enjoying a nice pint. Can you do that in February when the high temperature is minus-two? Well, yes. Yes, you can, but it really is more enjoyable when it’s mid-sixties.

So here’s to spring and patio beers! Speaking of which… I gotta go.

Catch you later!

Level up!

Welp, the first draft of the new WIP is done. Let’s take a look at the journey, shall we?

March 2017 – Released my third book, Undead Cheesehead (if you haven’t read it, you should. it’s awesome)

April 2017 – Drunken celebratory stupor

May – October 2017 – I cranked out ~50k words on a hard sci-fi thriller. It was soooo good! And then… it wasn’t. *womp womp*

November 2017 – February 2018 – Started a book in my previous Monsters in the Midwest world. ~30k words in… it sucked.

March – September 2018 – I decided to re-write The Breakfast Club – scene for scene, line for line – but as a novel and with monsters. It was hilarious. It was also 99.74% plagiarized so there’s literally NOTHING I can do with it. I can’t even give it away. *sigh* Let’s call it a writing exercise so I don’t feel like I wasted 8 months of my life.

October 2018 – I started toying with a new story. Still paranormal – shape shifters, vampires, huldras, revenants and the like. Still comedy – My poor protagonist has all sorts of hilariously awkward adventures. As the story took shape, I realized that I had a shot at a real series. A central protagonist that could easily follow a long story arc through multiple stand-alone books. As I continued, it started to take on a very Dresen Files-esque feel.

September 2020 – Two years later, I finally finished a first draft.

Now? Rewrites. Lots of ’em. Then a few beta readers, more revisions. With a little luck and a lot of work, I should have a final draft by spring 2021… FOUR YEARS AFTER MY LAST BOOK WAS RELEASED. Then I will submit to agents, hopefully land a good one, and they’ll put it out to some publishers, hopefully find a good one, then they do all the stuff publishers do…

Which basically means that you, dear reader, will get to read this book in maybe 2023, maybe 2024. Who knows?

Yeah, the author’s life is something else…

What Is Happening?!?

Hello! Long time, I know. How’ve you been? Things here are good enough. Pandemics are weird but I’m making the best of it.

So. Quick update:

I’m working on a really fun side-project with an artist friend. With a little luck, that’ll be available by Halloween. Stay tuned!

I’m also working on a new series. Book One is going really well. I hope to have a finished draft done by the end of the year. Probably going to shop it around to some agents when it’s done and see if anyone bites. Which is just another way of saying it won’t be available for awhile. Sorry. Them’s the breaks.

While that’s out on sub, I’ll be kicking off a fourth book for the Monsters in the Midwest series. I’m going to add three more books: Lois, Dee (Lois’s co-worker at Ronnie’s), and Pam (Jerry’s wife). I’ll be self-publishing those, with a goal of having Lois’s book ready by Halloween 2021.

OK. That’s it. Laters!

The gift that keeps on giving

This holiday season, as you shove your way through crowded stores and spend hours online scouring for gifts for family and friends and Barb at the office…

Remember- There’s something you can get for your favorite authors that costs absolutely nothing and will mean the world to them…

A review of their book!

This holiday season, give the gift that keeps on giving. Give book reviews.

Meet the voice behind the Monsters in the Midwest audiobooks – Ray Lesniewski

Wisconsin Vamp, Northwoods Wolfman, and Undead Cheesehead are now available as audiobooks via Audible, Amazon, and Apple Books.

This was a really fun project. I used ACX, which is a platform for authors and audiobook narrators/producers to find each other. Earlier in 2019, I posted auditions for someone to narrate the entire trilogy. I got quite a few responses, but none compared to Ray Lesniewski. He and I collaborated on the project over the summer and had a blast doing it. I count myself very lucky indeed to have found someone so capable of bringing the characters and story to life. He was a damned fine professional every step of the way, too. Total boss.

I recently sat down for a conversation with Ray. If you want to meet the voice behind the books, you can listen to our conversation here!

Oh – and if you haven’t heard Wisconsin Vamp, Northwoods Wolfman, or Undead Cheesehead yet… what are you waiting for? Head over to Audible/Amazon/Apple Books and get ’em while the getting’s good!

Woohoo! Wisconsin Vamp is available as an audiobook!

You read that right. Wisconsin Vamp is now available as an audiobook on Amazon, Audible, and in the next day or two, iTunes.

And that’s it. No other news. So, um. Have a good day, I guess. It’s Friday the 13th so watch out for, well, everything. Maybe get a helmet, or better yet, just stay indoors and listen to a nice audiobook.

https://www.audible.com/pd/Wisconsin-Vamp-Audiobook/B07XSKWX9V